Nourish: My Healthy Little Secret
Our Nourish columnist lets us in on her health secret that has helped her enjoy life and one of life's most enjoyable things -- food. Read on for more about her escape from food jail.

I had a full circle moment this week. I was at a big event and found myself rather unexpectedly collecting compliments left and right. Several people walked right up to me and said with exuberance, "You are so thin! What is your secret?" If you'd been watching, you would have seen me smile back at them looking a little surprised and say something demure like, "Oh, please. You are too kind!"

But, if you'd been inside my head, you'd have heard something more like, "WHAT?! Is she talking to me?! Is this really happening? Who would have ever believed this?!"

For many years I lived in fear of events like this one and countless others. Going to a restaurant with girlfriends or the movies with a date or the beach with my family were panic-inducing occasions.

You see, I was "mentally fat." My actual weight wasn't the real issue. Although I weighed a bit more than I do now, in my head I was enormous. I dreaded finding something to wear, getting dressed, walking in the door. I was certain people would be looking at me and clucking over the size of various parts of me, thinking, "Such a shame that she is so big."

I often didn't eat in public because I was sure people would wonder, "How could that woman possibly need to eat? Just look at her!" I'd steal glances at thin women and ponder how they did it –- what kind of superhuman metabolism they had or which secret foods they ate that kept them svelte while I struggled into my shapewear.

I skipped breakfast. I skipped lunch. I held the mayo and the butter and the cheese and the salad dressing. I drank diet soda and ate fat-free cookies and avoided pizza and peanut butter like they were rat poison. But the scale never really moved and my mind gave me no respite from the drone of unrelenting self-criticism.

I don't live that way today. At some point, I decided I'd had enough and that there had to be a better way to spend the rest of my life than crying on my closet floor with a half-eaten Snackwell in my hand. I wasn't sure what the path from food jail to food freedom looked like, but I was determined to find it and over time, I did. In fact, I spend my time these days helping other women break out of their own versions of food jail.

So, what's my healthy little secret? While I weigh less than ever, I eat more than ever before. I eat breakfast. I eat lunch. I eat snacks and desserts. I eat peanut butter almost every single day. (Turns out it's not poison after all!)

When I'm hungry (which is often), I eat. When I'm satisfied, I stop. I don't put any foods on a forbidden list. Trust me, I make good choices from healthy options, but I keep my food universe broad enough to include red meat and cheese and eggs and chocolate.

If you would have told me ten or fifteen years ago that this was possible, I wouldn't have believed you. In a culture that celebrates diets and deprivation, it sounds too good to be true. But it's not.

Eating enough of good, quality food fuels your body and prevents binge eating and mindless snacking. It gives you room to have some indulgent treats without fearing that you'll be unable to stop once you start eating them. Moreover, it gives your body the nutrients you need to power through your busy days. Your mental energy improves (no more droning self-critique) and your mood shifts (no more crying on the closet floor). Your metabolism stabilizes once your body realizes you're not trying to starve it, and it stops hanging on to unwanted pounds for dear life (literally).

If you or someone you know has yet to experience life outside of food jail, I would just love to have a chat. I'm forever grateful to the people who helped me realize there was another way to live, and I'm delighted to pay it forward. I believe every woman has the right to enjoy her food, to get dressed without anxiety, to put the droning voice of self-critique on mute.

How to get there is a secret worth sharing. And I'm happy to let the cat out of the bag.

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