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That Wedding Guy: The Dreaded Guest List

That Wedding Guy: The Dreaded Guest List
Our wedding columnist takes you through the most important considerations in crafting the guest list to the happiest event of your life.

 

Oh, honey, this is the age-old quandary that brides have had to face for centuries. The dreaded guest list. We would all like to extend the coveted invitation to extended family and all of our friends, but the reality is, that gets really expensive really quickly, and unless you have an unlimited budget, you really need to figure out how to be economical without hurting anyone's feelings. This is easier said than done, I fear.

 

Questions to ask yourself

  • How important is this person in my life?
  • Will he or she be truly offended or understanding of our cost concerns?
  • Do I even like this person?
  • What will he or she wear?
  • How will he or she look in my wedding pictures?
  • Will he or she bring a nice present?
  • Do I have to invite his or her trashy live-in?
  • Does he or she have a drug/alcohol/emotional problem that will cause me embarrassment?
  • Is he or she likely to crash the wedding and cause a scene if I don't invite him or her?
  • If I don't invite him or her, is it likely to cause such emotional duress that it affects theability to move on in life and eventually causes the break up of the only relationship he or she is ever likely to have, thus sending him or her into a downward spiral of despair that eventually leads to an inability to maintain a job and sooner or later lands him or her in a state institution?

 

These are all legitimate questions to ask. There are, however, practical solutions to avoid any tragic outcome resulting from your guest list. Might I suggest a two-tiered wedding? This is a simple ceremony and dinner, consisting of close friends and immediate family, followed by a more open celebration.

 

For example: If your budget allows for 100 people, go ahead with the 100 most important people - you know, the people who absolutely, positively must be invited (like your parents). Have your dinner from, say, 7 to 8 p.m. or so, then invite the other 100 people over for dessert, cocktails and hors d'oeuvres.

 

The Contemporary Arts Center is an ideal venue for just such an option. You can have a sit-down dinner for 100. After dinner, work with the catering staff to remove the tables and chairs, put in some high tops and bar stools and invite extended family and friends over for cocktails and heavy hors d'oevres around 9 p.m. or so.

 

Save all the highlights for the second half of the night, so all your guests can take part in the cake-cutting, first dance and such. This is a huge money saver, and yet all your guests can still come to your wedding and bask in the glory that is you!

 

A second option would be to forgo the dinner and just host a cocktail party with nibbly bits. This is becoming an increasingly attractive option in these tough economic times. Also, remember: This is your wedding. Be sure to surround yourself with the people that you and your husband-to-be love the most. Most people will completely understand if they do not make it on your list. I, however, am not one of them. I better be on that list! Bonne chance, darling!


 

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