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Ask Nicci: Wait for Mr. Right, Settle for Mr. Good Enough? PDF Print E-mail
Written by Nicci Sprouse   
Sunday, 17 April 2011 06:11

Ask Nicci: Wait for Mr. Right, Settle for Mr. Good Enough?
One reader notices the older she gets, the slimmer the pickings. Should she wait for Mr. Right or consider settling for Mr. Good Enough? See what our dating and relationship expert says.


I am very specific in the type of guy I want to settle down with. As shallow as it may sound, I have an absurd checklist in my mind a guy has to pass for me to even consider going out with him (high salary/great job, no kids, own a home, athletic build, etc.). Settling isn’t an option for me. I am a professional and only want the best. However, I am getting concerned that I may have to compromise my viewpoint because I’m getting older and guys seem to be getting fewer. Is my Mr. Right really out there?

Signed,

Picky & Proud

 

Dear Picky, While I agree that being selective when searching for a mate is important, in this case, the term “overkill” comes to mind. Finding the love of your life is not a strategic business transaction and treating it like one will defeat your purpose entirely. Maybe you have been waiting all this time for Mr. Right to magically appear, sweep you off your feet, and whisk you away to paradise where the two of you ride off into the sunset together. Too bad it doesn’t really work that way, huh?

 

As the owner of a dating service I’ve seen many must-have “lists.” It is normal to idealize the perfect man. As little girls we dream of the day we meet our Prince Charming. Mr. Right is a fantasy, not a reality. It’s time to toss your list, my friend. Truth is, Mr. Right does not exist and that’s okay...

 

Statistically speaking, what is true for women is that the older we get, the slimmer the pickings are for finding great guys. Since there is no Mr. Right to wait for, you need to self discover what qualities in a mate will truly make you happy. With that said, it’s time to reevaluate things and go back to the drawing board.

 

A few key elements that may be undervalued on your list are: chemistry, balance and a connection. Be more aware of a partnership mentality and especially the ability to communicate effectively. These are qualities that should be at the top of any list. Consider what you will want 30 years from now when a forever friendship is more essential than looks. The physical and material attributes (height, physique, hair color, bank account, type of car he drives) should all be at the bottom.

 

I’m not telling you to settle for Mr. Good Enough, I simply want you to think outside the box — look beyond material and physical attributes when deciding if a guy fits your mold. What you have considered deal breakers all these years may be qualities that you really don’t care about but you have been too choosy to recognize.

 

It is clear that time is of the essence. Love happens when you least expect it — it cannot be planned. Tweak your list. Determine what you want from a relationship that will stand the test of time; what will make your bond unbreakable. True love cannot be measured or evaluated. Hint, hint….

Nicci Sprouse -

Nicci Sprouse is Cincy Chic's dating and relationship columnist and the owner of Ask Nicci, an upscale dating service in Cincinnati and Columbus. Send Sprouse any questions at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it . For more information, visit AskNicci.com or e-mail.

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