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Ask Nicci: Does Absence Make the Heart Grow Fonder?

Ask Nicci: Does Absence Make the Heart Grow Fonder?
Long-distance relationships aren’t for everyone. Our dating and relationship expert explores one reader’s personal dilemma and offers words of advice. 


My boyfriend of 4 months recently told me he accepted a transfer with his job to Chicago. Our chemistry is amazing and our connection is what I have always dreamed of. We both agree that the relationship has potential, however; I am mortified at the thought of a long-distance relationship. Do they really work?

Signed,

Will it work

 

Dear Work,

 

Should you decide to accept the challenge and make this work you definitely have a long, tough road ahead, my friend! Long—distance relationships are hard work. First thing you need to do is decide if the relationship is worth the effort you’re going to have to put into it. If there is the possibility that this is THE RELATIONSHIP then you need to step up and commit to making it work. But don’t let me scare you. Long—distance relationships can work — you just need to understand the dynamics of it. It’s time to get creative!

 

d2dWebInstoryGIF.GIF The success of a long—distance relationship requires the development of the core foundation. First, is communication. This type of relationship depends on good communication skills; more so than relationships where couples live within minutes of each other. If something is bothering you, speak up and tell him! Not sharing your feelings and letting things get to you will only breed negativity and ultimately resentment. Diffuse relationship bombs before they happen by keeping those lines of communication open.

 

Just as important to make this work is giving your relationship the attention it deserves. Feeling connected is essential, especially since the physical intimacy will be slowing down due to the distance. Focus on finding ways to connect and feel close to him as this will be a vital part of making this work. Make sure he is on the same page with you; extra effort on both parts is a must. Finding basic ways to connect (phone, email, Facebook, texting) is fine, but the true secret to connecting from afar is IMAGINATION.

 

Try these creative ideas — they may seem silly, but they work!

  • Meet half way at a hotel for a fun rendezvous once in a while.
  • Send flirty texts. Guys love that! Throw in a sexy photo here and there, too.
  • Skype — use your imagination!
  • Mix things up by being out of character. Be playful and role play. That is sure to catch him off guard and keep you in his thoughts!
  • Write him love letters!
  • Send him cheesy Youtube songs/videos letting him know you’re thinking about him.

 

The success of your new long—distance relationship will be determined by how hard you work at it. Remember — keep him intrigued and coming back for more. Absence makes the heart grow fonder they say…. Good luck!

Nicci Sprouse -

Nicci Sprouse is Cincy Chic's dating and relationship columnist and the owner of Ask Nicci, an upscale dating service in Cincinnati and Columbus. Send Sprouse any questions at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it . For more information, visit AskNicci.com or e-mail.

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