Ask Patty: Happy Hour Hubby Gone Wrong PDF Print E-mail
Written by Patty Brisben   
Wednesday, 16 June 2010 06:21

Ask Patty: Happy Hour Hubby Gone Wrong
When your Social Butterfly partner takes partying a bit too far, you might seem like a party pooper when you voice your concerns. Our relationship columnist weighs in on how to stay positive.

"My husband heads to Happy Hour about two to three times a week with friends and co-workers. Sometimes he stays for about an hour, but lately he's been staying out until 1 or 2 in the morning! When I ask him to cut back on the late-night 'partying,' he just says that we're young and don't have any kids so it's no big deal. He says it hasn't affected his job performance and thinks I'm jealous because he is spending time with his friends. Does he have a drinking problem or am I just overreacting? I'm really starting to get frustrated!"

— Jennie (Montgomery, Ohio)




It sounds like there are a couple different issues going on here. First and foremost, it's important to touch on the issue of his health. Regardless of whether he is able to perform at work on little sleep or not, the fact remains that an adequate and regular amount of sleep is a necessary component to good health. Not to mention, alcohol is a depressant that damages the liver and can greatly dehydrate the body.


As far as whether he has a drinking problem, this is not my area of expertise. I can tell you that there are many "functioning alcoholics" in society who can drink excessively while hiding its effects when it comes to how they conduct their lives and careers. Because you are the closest to him, you, your mutual friends and family will have the best idea of if it is an extreme case or just a case of over-socializing. If this is a case of alcohol dependency, the problem will not be truly resolved until he decides he has a problem and seeks help.


The second issue is that he could be playing with fire should he decide to drink and drive one night and get pulled over for a DUI or, worse, hurt an innocent bystander (be it a pedestrian, other driver or even a passenger). These types of behaviors, especially done in excess, often can take a toll on one's job, health, body and relationships.


The third issue is that you two are in a committed relationship, and if something is upsetting you, he should work to compromise to make you happy. Even if it means scaling back the number of times he goes out so that you can see him more or finding a new hobby with his friends that will be better for his health. It's not fair for him to accuse you of being jealous of his friends, and it sounds to me that he may be turning the situation around on you to escape confronting the issue at hand.


Criticizing him directly will probably not help accomplish this. Take a more positive approach such as making fun and exciting alternate plans throughout the week and inviting him along. You also can explain that you care about him and are truly just looking out for his well-being!

Patty Brisben -

Patty Brisben is the CEO and Founder of Pure Romance. She is Cincy Chic's relationship columnist, and you can send her an e-mail at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .

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Last Updated on Wednesday, 16 June 2010 08:05



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