Orange on Green: Men and Money PDF Print E-mail
Written by Tom and Brad Cunningham   
Saturday, 12 June 2010 08:59

Orange on Green: Men and Money
Communicating about money can mean the difference between divorce and happily ever after. This week our financial experts help you understand your man and get on the same financial page.

Our research has shown us that men and women think about money very differently. Both sexes are, more often than not, striving for the same end result. However, the method to get there is usually not so similar. More than 82 percent of existing Orange members said in a survey that their top struggle in their relationship is communicating effectively about money. Not surprising when you learn how the two minds work. Specific to money, we have found three major differences between men and women:


061410VALLEYVIEW.GIF 1.Values and Self-esteem — Speaking for men in general, we rarely talk about our problems. This is exactly why we don't want to ask for directions. We hate to ask for information because it is a sign of failure. Within our financial domain, we want to do things ourselves as it represents a symbol of power and competency — even if we don't know exactly what we are doing.


A woman's values and self-esteem, on the other hand, are defined through feelings and relationships. Women offer help as a sign of strength, and they ask for help to learn more about various topics, including finances. Talking and sharing is how a woman generally feels good about herself.


2.Competition and Cooperation — Men love to compete in everything. We keep score. We get fixated with the contest, and our finances are not outside the circle of competition. We like to compare performance.


Women are competitive, some just as competitive as men, however, women tend to be more cooperative. Working together, women like to help others reach the objective. Collaboration with others is not a sign of weakness but a step to achieving an end result. Without cooperation, money can be very overwhelming to women.


3.Feelings — We are more logical and analytical. We struggle to relate our feelings and feel threatened when surrounded by others' feelings. When it comes to our finances, we like to think we are rational and functional in our decision-making process.


Women are more intuitive and holistic. Women are more in touch with a wider array of emotions and the intensity of these emotions are usually much greater. We find this irrational and struggle to comprehend it. When it comes to finances, women are more emotion and relationship-based in their decision-making process. It is not so much the rational behind it but the emotion associated with future events that can or will occur and the emotional consequence of the decision to be made.


Let's look at some tips on effectively bridging the gap then between our sexes:


Acknowledge the Differences — Recognize the various ways to achieve the same results. Avoid trying to change how your partner thinks and reacts with money.


Find Acceptable Middle Ground — Disagreements are acceptable, it is part of communication. When they become counterproductive, no action typically is the end result. Find a common ground to agree and take action steps to make an impact for your future.


Utilize an Outside Mediator — Seek assistance from a financial expert, someone who is capable of facilitating the learning, planning and communication process.


With the divorce rate just less than 50 percent, according to the Centers for Disease Control's recent Provisional Vital Statistics, communication about money is a big culprit. Within our Orange community, we operate with a less than one percent divorce rate by following the steps above. If you are in a relationship with a man, a little recognition, discipline, and accountability can bring you financial well-being and a happy relationship.

Tom And Brad Cunningham -

Tom and Brad Cunningham are Cincy Chic's financial columnists, and they are the co-founders of Orangefinancial. If you want to share your comments or inquire for more information, e-mail them at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it and This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .


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