| Written by Pete Scalia, on 05-06-2007 05:35 |
Ask Him: Popping the Big, Creative Question
A local woman smells an engagement in the air, but is afraid that her man won't be creative when he pops the big question. Our "Ask Him" columnist, WLWT-TV's Pete Scalia, gives her some insight into the male perspective on engagements, and gives her a verbal chill pill to chew on.
Q: I think my boyfriend is getting ready to
propose because we've been talking about it for a long time and I've
recently picked up on hints that he might have made a big purchase.
But, unfortunately, I don't think he'll propose to me in a really cool
way. How can I drop a few subtle hints to help him in the creativity
department?
-Katy, Florence
A: Maybe this is a question that’s better suited for an “Ask HER”
columnist. But as someone who recently grappled with how to “pop the
question,” I’m curious as to when and where it became a competition to
have the “coolest” wedding proposal ever. Seriously. Do women not
understand the anxiety and sleeplessness this whole ordeal subjects us
to? I mean, deciding whether or not you actually want to (or even
could) spend the rest of your life someone is stress enough. But
apparently, for many women, just being asked isn’t enough any more. Now
it takes some grandiose gesture of love, creativity and major brass
cojones to get from a “maybe” to a definitive “yes!” Why is that?
Just the other day, my fiancée’s grandmother was reminiscing about her
wedding proposal. She and her beau had talked about it, knew they
wanted to get married, and one day, visited the local jewelry store. He
plunked down the $199 for a ring (which was a major amount of cash in
those days) and they headed out the door, where he asked for her hand
in marriage - right there in the jewelry store parking lot. Nothing
fancy. No planes flying overhead, banner in tow. No flashing billboard
at a major league baseball game. Just two crazy kids looking to get
hitched. And that’s all they needed.
Now I admit this might seem a bit contrite coming from someone who
proposed to his fiancée on television (and thanks to YouTube, we’re
still getting all sorts of well-wishes from folks all over the place).
But trust me, my heart (and head) were in the right place. First of
all, with my fiancée living out of town for the past year, time was at
a premium. Secondly, everyone I work with at my “day job” is like
family to me. They all knew it was coming, it was just a question of
when. And for us, “when” turned out to be the morning a certain
publisher of a well-known online women’s magazine came on our show to
talk about her awesome publication. And I’d say it worked out rather
well. But hey, that’s just me. I’m one of those weird people who feels
more at home in front of a crowd than I do talking to one or two
people. Does that make sense?
Honestly, to me, how you propose isn’t nearly as important as knowing
in your hearts that you’re ready to make that commitment to one
another. I’ve always been a ham (and have the t-shirt from an old
guitarist buddy to prove it) so I proposed in a way that was, well, me.
My fiancée’s brother (and his wife-to-be) are huge Bengals fans, so he
popped the question on the 50-yard line at Paul Brown Stadium. My best
friend was the most old-fashioned of us all, kneeling down in a crowded
restaurant, wearing his heart on his sleeve (and hoping for a free
dessert).
Just about all of my friends are getting married, or have been for at
least a few years now. They’re starting families of their own. And if
you ask any one of their wives, I’m sure they can remember the day
their husbands proposed, no matter how fancy-schmanzy it was. All that
matters is that, somehow, he stuttered and stammered his way through
the one of the single most important questions of his life, and she
took pity on the poor bastard and said "yes." Just know that if he has
the guts to ask you at all, that’s what really matters. And speaking of
what really matters, DeBeers be damned, if I could just do something
about this whole obsession with outrageously expensive diamond
engagement rings. I mean, aluminum shines up nicely, too, doesn’t it?
Guys? Anyone...?
Have a Question for Pete? Send him an e-mail at pscalia@cincychic.com.
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