Cincy Chic - Ask Patty: Road Block to Domestic Bliss

Ask Patty: Road Block to Domestic Bliss

Written by Patty Brisben, on 25-02-2010 09:48

Ask Patty: Road Block to Domestic Bliss
In today's world, co-habitation before a marriage celebration is common, but what happens when parents' perspectives stand in the way of your moving in with your significant other?

"I just graduated college, and my girlfriend and I really want to move in together. The problem is, is that her parents won't let us move in until we are married. We are not ready to make this step but really love being together and we would save a ton of money by doing this. How can we get her Mom to see this is a great idea?"

— Charlie (Harrison, Ohio)

Patty:

It's always important to consider and respect your parents' point of view, but in this particular situation, you and your girlfriend are adults and need to decide together what is best for you as a couple.

It may be helpful to start by determining where your parents are coming from. For example, does their issue with you living together stem from traditional beliefs or is there something more going on? Parents typically have their children's best interests at heart, so make sure that they aren't picking up on negative aspects in your relationship that you may be overlooking. However, it sounds by your description that this is not a case of you two having an unhealthy relationship.

Parents always want what's best for their children, but at the end of the day, if they have raised you well and you've received a wonderful education (which it sounds like you have), they should allow you to make your own decisions in your life as an adult.

I do have to point out that moving in with a significant other to save money is one of the worst reasons to move in together. While it's great that you are finically conscientious and are able to discuss monetary situations (believe me, that will be important should you decide to marry down the road!), there has to be more intimate motivations for co-habitating. You don't want to end up as roommates, so never look at moving in with a significant other the way you would with a friend in a roommate situation.

Patty Brisben
		About the author:
		Patty Brisben is the CEO and Founder of Pure Romance. She is Cincy Chic's relationship columnist, and you can send her an e-mail at info@cincychic.com.