Cincy Chic - Sensible Fitness: All Dolled up but Who to Impress?

Sensible Fitness: All Dolled up but Who to Impress?

Written by Doug Gibson, on 04-02-2010 10:47

Sensible Fitness: All Dolled up but Who to Impress?
You spend hours upon hours carefully selecting products to make your appearance, but is your Cover Girl a cover up? Our fitness guru delves into the issues beneath the makeup.

After waiting 30 years to get married and then jumping back into the "singles scene" 10 years later, I have seen many different perspectives regarding relationships and women. Not only am I now older and wiser, but I also see things now that I never noticed before, like how women try to impress other women and how catty they can be toward thinner, prettier women.

Unlike the females of other species, who are homely and camouflaged in order to hide and protect the nest, human females are the highly decorated ones. I mean, just how many different products go on a woman's head alone? How many products go on the hair, the eyes, the face and the lips? OMG! Then we have the rest of the body: the nail polish; the soaps, oils and lotions; and all the clothes. And we cannot forget the 40 pairs of shoes.

What is all the decoration for? My first intuition is to attract romance. Isn't the goal of every warm-blooded woman to find and to keep a life-long partner and live the fairytale of bliss and happiness? To have the security of not being alone the rest of her life? I think this is a respectable goal and one I personally share.

I often question if my first intuition is wrong, though. I sometimes think women get decked out to impress other women. Women should know that men don't really care about the hair products, the eyeliner or the nails. In fact, the only time we care that you have nails is when we want them to scratch our backs. Men's big thing is an hourglass figure — simply having the curves that make a woman a woman.

I am sure that cosmetics and accessories help a woman feel more attractive and, thus, better about herself, but this might be a Band-Aid for the deeper wounds to the soul that being unhealthy brings. Take away the products, and the self-esteem and feeling of beauty still should be there in a healthy woman.

The path of least resistance is sitting in a chair and getting the instant gratification of a manicure, but that isn't what you really need. If you weigh your self-esteem with a bathroom scale — being happy when it is down, and bummed when it is up — then I would suggest putting efforts toward your health rather than your material appearance. You stop the bleeding by healing the wound, not by placing Band-Aids on it that fall off in three weeks.

If the goal is to find a new romance or to keep the romance alive with your current partner, my advice would be to direct more effort toward being healthy. Both women and men instinctually want a healthy, strong partner that can provide for the family. Whether it be the courting and mating rituals of animals or that of humans, the winner is usually the one that displays strength and health. And with that strength and health come vitality and confidence, traits very attractive to both genders.

Now, before you call men shallow, you need to show me a woman who would actively seek out an unhealthy man or a woman who would not appreciate her man maintaining a nice physique. While men certainly are more visual, deep down I think we are standing on common ground.

Now the bad news: Once you make the choice (and don't kid yourself, it is your choice) to dump the lackadaisical lifestyle and get your act together, you will have a whole new set of problems. You'll have to figure out how to deal with the unhappy, catty, jealous women. When a shapely and confident woman walks into the room, you can often see other women picking them apart in their head, with a "that bitch" look on their face.

Yes, you will have to be extra nice to win over the catty women who will choose to be "unfriendly" toward you simply because you look good. Often this happens when they do not even know the first thing about you. Your appearance alone is enough to remind them of their unhappiness with themselves, and this causes the claws to come out and subtly (or not so subtly) attack.

So to all the catty women out there, I ask you to retract your claws and consider developing a new attitude: If you cannot beat 'em (and you rarely will), join 'em. See you at the gym!

Doug Gibson
		About the author:
		Doug Gibson is a columnist for Cincy Chic and president of Sensible Fitness Personal Training Center in Blue Ash, Ohio, which specializes in women’s fitness programs. E-mail him at doug@sensiblefitness.com.
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