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Ask Patty: Just Friends? PDF Print E-mail
Written by Patty Brisben   
Thursday, 05 November 2009 01:59

Ask Patty: Just Friends?
Real life "When Harry Met Sally": When is it OK to cross the line of friendship and step into something more? Our relationship expert offers some advice on the relationship possibilities with friends.


"I have this guy who has been a really good friend for years now. He has always been just a friend because he's been married. He is now going through a divorce and admitted that he has had very strong feelings for me for a long time and, of course, never said anything because he was married. I never had a clue. I am interested in him, too, now that he will soon be available. I have always thought he is an awesome guy and great father (we both have daughters), but I don't want to ruin our friendship if things go South. I am also worried that he is 'on the rebound' and I don't want to be 'that girl.' What should I do?"

— Kerry (Eastgate, OH)

 

Patty:

 

There always has been the question of whether men and women really can be friends. One always seems to be interested in the other, and in this case, you have discovered that the feelings are mutual. While friends make the best lovers, the most important thing you can do is to not rush into things. Time is of the utmost importance here.

 

Divorce is an extremely difficult experience, and he should have time to move on and process his feelings before bringing you or anyone else into the equation. It is important to remain a friend for now. He will need a friend more than ever during this time. This will give you the opportunity to hear about why his marriage failed and what he really wants in a companion and a marriage in the future.

 

Even though you have strong feelings for him, anything that happens between you two should happen because he genuinely cares about you, not because he misses having someone there all the time. Consider doing activities with him and his daughter. Offer to watch her so that he can move and settle into his new place or to even spend time with some of his other friends. Be a friend first, and you will find that if it was meant to be, it will be.

 

I strongly would recommend not being intimate during this time. No matter which way you look at it, sex often changes a relationship’s dynamics. If it’s the wrong time, it can make or break a relationship — and even a friendship. If you really mean a lot to each other, you will find that patience will only bring you closer.

 

 

Patty Brisben -

Patty Brisben is the CEO and Founder of Pure Romance. She is Cincy Chic's relationship columnist, and you can send her an e-mail at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .


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Last Updated on Monday, 09 November 2009 05:39
 

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