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Ask Patty: Laws of Attracting

Ask Patty: Laws of Attracting
Beyonce called all the single ladies, but not every woman wants to answer that call. Our relationship expert fills you in on how to find and keep that special someone.


"I'm 41 and single — no kids and no baggage. I've been in several relationships that just didn't work out. I'm unsuccessfully trying to meet new guys and need to know what I need to do to attract a good guy."

— Tracy (Norwood, OH)

 

Patty: I was reading an article the other day about Jennifer Aniston being 40 and single. It was refreshing to see that she is enjoying her single status and making no apologies for it. Who says we need to be in a relationship to be happy? Believe it or not, being more than 40 and single isn't a rare thing anymore. Today's alternatives to marriage are unlimited, but if you truly want to find a life-long partner, remember you are never too old for love.

 

Dating is difficult at any age, though it can become more complicated as we get older. Some of that, I think, has to do with changing social patterns in middle age. We don't "hang out" like we did in our 20s. Our workdays sometimes end with a laundry list of to-dos and responsibilities, which leaves less free time to engage in the social scene. Get creative and attend events and social gatherings that you maybe haven't attended in the past. Because you have no kids, you have the freedom to get out and mingle! Take advantage and enjoy being single.

 

Mr. Right may be closer than you think. There is a very good chance that the good guy you're looking for is within your reach. He may be going to your church or standing in front of you at the bank. You might see him every day, but everybody's situation is not the same, so use your discretion. Also, make wise decisions about where you go to meet new people. Bars and night clubs may have been a fun place to mingle in your early 20s, but if you're looking for someone to settle down with, you should focus on surrounding yourself with positive people and stable environments that will promote long-term, healthy relationships. Whatever you do, don't force it. It's often said that it's when you're not looking that Mr. Right turns up.

 

The key to a successful relationship is getting back in touch with what you really want in a partner. This will help prevent you from staying in the dating scene forever. It is essential that you observe your actions and decisions, making sure that you do not continue to date certain people in the name of dating — especially if you find that you are not sharing the connection you crave with a person.

 

As long as you are honest with yourself and know what you really want, you can stick to it and make it clear to the people whom you date. When you treat your goal of meeting the right person seriously, then you will stay motivated to find him, and when you do, you will finally be able to begin the kind of relationship that you have always desired and deserved.

Patty Brisben -

Patty Brisben is the CEO and Founder of Pure Romance. She is Cincy Chic's relationship columnist, and you can send her an e-mail at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .


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