| Safety First |
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 Safety FirstInstilling knowledge, courage Don't talk to strangers, walk alone, or wear socks with sandals. Many of the "rules" mom preached just don't cut it in the real world (except for the sandal and sock rule, that still applies). Learn how a local couple teaches effective safety skills using everyday items for defending yourself on today's streets. Leave your fear and guilt at the door. The most important weapons in safety are knowledge and the courage to use it. But the knowledge many women have about staying safe involve cliches that don't work: Never talk to a stranger. Don't walk alone. "I'm telling you now that if you never walk alone, you never talk with strangers, you're not going to be anything. It's called networking!" says Debbie Gardner, co-founder of the Survive Institute and former Cincinnati police officer.
Gardner and her husband, retired Police Officer Mike Gardner, founded the Survive Institute to promote "courage, rights and tools" and move past the "warnings, fear and silly rules." Through the institute, the two have gone to seven Latin American countries in eight days and instructed clients that include the Federal Bureau of Investigation, the United States Army, Proctor & Gamble and a few Cincy Chic staffers. With the permission of the Gardners, we are passing the life-saving information on to you.
Crisis Response: Breathe, Grip and Practice "Family Defense"
The first step in safety is to breathe. Whenever scared or startled, many people take a deep gasp of air. With this deep breath, the air gets trapped in the belly, making it harder to breathe. So instead of screaming in fright, try roaring as you force out the air from your belly. This also will be a more intimidating sound for attackers. Practice this when you are startled by cold or hot water in the shower or when you burn yourself.
"If you're not breathing, you can't react verbally or physically," Gardner says because with that gasp of air, the heart starts pumping fast and all of the blood rushes to it. Blood leaves the hands, arms, feet, legs, and head. "It explains the phrase 'she was as white as a ghost,' " Gardner says. Beyond looking like a ghost, the rush of blood to the heart makes it difficult for the body to function. Without blood, the legs can't kick the guy in the groin, the arms can't fight to get away, and the brain can't think to do anything or create memories like a description of the attacker.
To remedy or even prevent the lack of blood, grip your hands. Carry something about the size of a highlighter that is comfortable to grip and easy to carry. Gardner recommends the Kubotan (available through her Web site) because it can attach to your key ring, but almost anything can work, including your cell phone or a plastic water bottle. Gripping will bring the blood back out to the extremities, allowing the body to function. This idea works well in any time of crisis or anxiety, so always have something to grip close by or in your hand.
While breathing and gripping are ways to keep your body physically alert and ready, they are almost useless if you can't picture yourself winning the fight. "One of the biggest problems in America is that most law-abiding citizens don't see themselves winning if attacked in crime," Gardner says. "But those same law-abiding citizens see themselves winning if fighting for their family."
To take advantage of this fact, drop the idea of self defense and pick up the concept of family defense. Think of yourself fighting for your family "through your own skin," Gardner says. Just as her husband told her, "It's not about you. Hurting you will be killing us [your family]." So you need to visualize a list of everyone for whom you are willing to fight -- and put your name at the top.
Choosing the BeST for Yourself
When you feel threatened by someone, remember BST: breathing, space and throat. The breathing involves the three steps listed above: breathe, grip and practice family defense.
The space is your space. Imagine a hula hoop around you. That is your space. Protect it. Nobody can rape, rob or murder you if they can't get into your personal space, Gardner says. Many times attackers get close to you by asking a simple question like "Do you have the time?" or "Can you tell me how to get to such-and-such a place?" These questions often make people let down their guard as they think, "Oh this person's not going to attack me! They just want to know ____."
Don't let your guard down. When someone who makes you feel uncomfortable approaches you, define your space by holding out your arms and making "stop" hands with your palms flat and facing the person. With your arms extended, answer the question with a "no," even if you have four watches on your arm and you just came from such-and-such a place, Gardner says.
If the person does not respect your answer and tries to get into your personal space, go for the throat. Forget the eyes and the groin because just as you need to breathe, so does your attacker. "You need to breathe to be a player, and you need to destroy the air to go home," Gardner says. To destroy that air, use the same tool that you used to grip. The cap end of a water bottle and end of a Kubaton are lethal, and the fatter end of the bottle and long part of the Kubaton are less fatal.
If you don't have anything to grip, use your fingers or hand. The thumb, index finger and middle finger alone can apply 30 pounds of force on the throat. You can use your whole hand with the fingers together and the thumb out, making an L shape with the index finger and thumb. Thrust the hand into the throat with the throat going into the corner of the L made by the thumb and index finger.
"An 11-year-old girl can hit the throat and take down a 40-year-old man," Gardner says, so you can do it -- it's just a matter of having the courage to do it. To help instill the courage in yourself, you need confidence, and you can gain confidence through practice. A toilet paper roll or paper towel roll is the same size as a human throat, so whenever you finish a roll, crush it as if it were an attacker's throat.
Because a blow to the throat can be fatal, this should be used only in a life-or-death circumstance.
Empower Through Teaching
Just as you can fight for your family through your skin, you can fight for your family through your words. Pass this information on to your children, nieces and nephews, brothers and sisters, friends, and anyone else you want to stay safe.
"Women teach what they have. If women have courage, they teach courage. If women have fear, guess what they teach. Fear!" Gardner says. Give your loved ones the knowledge and courage to use it, including children. Once they are 6 years old, children are ready to advance from the "kiddy stuff" of cliches, Gardner says.
For more information about the Survive Institute; to have the Gardners give a seminar to your group, organization or company; or to purchase one of their books, visit the Survive Institute Web site.
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View all articles by this author Last update: 24-08-2009 08:35
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